First off I would like to state the purpose of this blog. The purpose of this blog is to introduce myself as Domina Patra Niles or Mistress depending on your taste. I have been flooded lately with many new or potential subs that are a bit confused about the Dom/Sub lifestyle. So I have decided the best way to approach this is to introduce myself and my approach to the life with my subs.
Please understand that this is a LIFESTYLE and not a game. I take my role as a Dom very seriously! Being a Dom does not mean I just start giving random orders. To me being a good Dom means that we build a relationship so that you will have the desire to please me; and understanding that I am your protector, teacher, and your lover.
As your protector you must know that I am stronger than you any other person in your life. That does not mean I am physically stronger than you or them but that I am the strongest character and personality in your life.
As your teacher you must know that I am the wise one and above all always right. I do not believe in arbitrarily punish my subs on a whim but only when given good reason. And I do not want a sub who only seeks me out to be punished on a constant basis. Otherwise this type of behavior on either side will cause the breakdown and ruin of the relationship by breaking the boundaries of trust and security. I must be respected by you the sub and is a quality that I earn by being right, issuing, swift, and correct justice but also giving reward when deserved as well. I am not here to inflict pain and degradation on my subs, if this is what you seek then seek elsewhere. I am here to give you goals to achieve a better quality of life and direction on how to love and please me.
As your lover, I’m a loving Dom and when necessary, stern. You must recognize that I am your only source of pleasure. It is my responsibility to see that this area of our relationship is never neglected and when appropriate I am gentle, supportive, and tender with my subs. Dom/sub relationships is not all about being controlled or overpowered by the Dom. Punishment is only rendered to stop a destructive action by the sub. For example, you are trying to save money to make repairs on your house, but you instead broke your budget and went on a spending spree, this action is destructive and requires punishment but this is out of my love and care for my sub.
Your role as my sub is actually the key to shaping our relationship and your primary goal is to follow my direction and to learn how to please me and then please me. You my sub are my companion, student and lover.
As my companion you will be treated with respect and dignity and allowed to voice your opinions, contribute to my activities, in this area you are almost my equal.
As my student you will learn what pleases me and in different ways to please me, in turn you will be given rewards for a job well done, but however, you will be corrected when tasks or behavior is not done correctly.
As my lover you the sub will know to go out of your way to make sure I am pleased. You do not do this out of fear but because you genuinely care for me, and neither out of fear of pain or retribution but solely because you have a deep desire to please me. You as my sub do not want me to be disappointed in you and will take pleasure in my pleasure.
Let me now just point out the difference between a sub and a slave. Some say a slave is a higher grade of sub but I believe a slave is equal but different. A slave is one that is completely consumed with the desire to serve and obey his Domina or Mistress, to please her. This is a choice a sub makes if he decides he wants to take the relationship a bit further. The slaves sole desire is to please is Misstress or Domina without any thought of himself and this tends to be more of a lifetime commitment than the normal Dom/Sub relationship. However a slave must hold a higher standard of behavior, conduct, and obedience. Once a sub or a slave decides to become a slave to his Mistress/Domina the title of the Mistress becomes Master /Domina and then the relationship is formalized with a marking ceremony. A mark can be a tattoo, piecing or a physical item such as a collar or arm bands, something that proves ownership.
I believe that starting about with a temporary commitment is a good foundation for a Dom/Sub relationship, however even before this can happen I prefer a couple of chat sessions to get to know one another first.
I also involve B.E. into my phonesex adventures. 
